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User talk:J.C.Hinds
Welcome Hi, welcome to Creepypasta Wiki! Thanks for your edit to the The spirit in the cellar page. Please be sure to check out all the Site Rules, as it is important to follow them. Failure to abide by them may result in your account being blocked. Read some new pastas by checking out or browse by topic by checking out the Genre Listing. Please leave a message on my talk page if I can help with anything! WhyAmIReadingThis (talk) 23:41, January 11, 2016 (UTC) EmpyrealInvective (talk) 23:53, January 11, 2016 (UTC) Re: Story There were quite a lot of issues in the story that resulted in it being below quality standards. There are formatting, punctuation, capitalization, wording, spelling, grammatical, and story issues here. Formatting issues: Here is how your story was formatted: My father called for me which I hoped he wouldn’t. I slapped on my jacket and reluctantly descended my stairs. What met me there was my two best friends Mike and Parker they’d been concerned about me all through the holidays. Capitalization issues: "“Ah hello boys, it’s been a while hasn’t it.” Said (said) my father." “Yeah(,) it has Mr McCredie. Is James home?” My (my) friends asked.", "“Hello.” A crackly whispery voice called from the darkness.", etc. Sentences should be capitalized. "14 (Fourteen) wasn’t too bad I could risk another hit", " 3, 2, 1 draw!", etc. Incorrectly capitalized words: "a Ace (an ace)", "“Hey(,) are you all right!” parker and mike both shouted with concern" Punctuation issues: Abbreviations need punctuation. "Mr(.) McCredie" Commas missing where pauses are implied. "“Yeah(,) it has Mr McCredie.", "“Sup James(,) you out?” Parker asked.", " What met me there was my two best friends(,) Mike and Parker(,) they’d been concerned about me all through the holidays.", "We arrived at about 2:30pm(,) the 2 hour walk finally was over.", etc. Punctuation missing from dialogue: "“Fine…Fine, I’ll go. I’ll go, just let me get my coat”" Awkward wording issues: "Being so far out it wasn’t that wrecked", "Now don’t get me wrong it was falling apart but vandalises and other kids didn’t bother with the effort of going there as often as we did." Spelling issues: "O (Oh) yeah did you bring some cards to pass the time?”", "falling apart but vandalises", "find make shift (makeshift) table and chairs.”" Grammatical issues: you're=you are, your=possession "“No your wrong my friends are getting help.”" Story issues: the story feels fairly rushed and is really lacking description (especially of the creature). This really gives the story an unpolished/incomplete feel. The premise of friends investigating an old orphanage really has been done a number of times before and it really results in a weaker story with the issues about. EmpyrealInvective (talk) 22:15, January 12, 2016 (UTC) :You'd have to do a deletion appeal first and I'm sorry, but with the premise and the issues, I would likely turn it down unless you completely re-wrote it and fixed a lot of the story issues and errors. EmpyrealInvective (talk) 22:29, January 12, 2016 (UTC) EmpyrealInvective (talk) 03:12, January 13, 2016 (UTC) :I'm sorry but I explicitly stated above: "You'd have to do a deletion appeal first" (which you didn't do). The next time you do that, you will be banned, so please read the site rules and follow them. :As for the story, I strongly suggest looking over what I wrote above and reading the version you just posted. You overlook a massive amount of issues I pointed out above and re-posted it. (Sometimes not even correcting the direct examples I gave the first time. EmpyrealInvective (talk) 03:49, January 13, 2016 (UTC) Warning Do not remove posts from the deletion appeal. Additionally I STRONGLY suggest against making an appeal with your story in its current form. EmpyrealInvective (talk) 04:02, January 13, 2016 (UTC) :The instructions on how to do both are right there on the pages themselves. EmpyrealInvective (talk) 04:09, January 13, 2016 (UTC) EmpyrealInvective (talk) 21:41, January 28, 2016 (UTC)